Men Don’t Talk About This Enough—Here’s My Story

I’m about to share something very vulnerable—something only a handful of people in my life know. But I believe in being real, and maybe my story will resonate with you.

Have you ever felt like you were unable to fully experience intimacy? Or maybe you’ve felt like you were holding back in life—like something deep inside you was weighing you down. Whether it’s trauma, old wounds, or unresolved conflicts, those things can quietly shape our choices, our relationships, and even how we see ourselves.

In my case, I can trace it all back to a heartbreak I experienced when I was 13. It was painful and left me with a belief I carried for years: I can’t fully trust women. That one belief created an invisible wall I didn’t even realize I was building.

Then when I was 14, I  lost my virginity with a sex worker, more about this in my upcoming book, but over time, the actions I took because of those episodes did not serve me and unconsciously it manifested as a fear of being truly intimate—not just physically, but emotionally. I avoided showing my real, vulnerable self, even in my closest relationships.

For the last 8 years, I thought I was doing the work. I read all the books, went to self-development events, explored mindfulness practices, and even dove into deeper healing modalities. I thought I’d let go of everything that wasn’t serving me. But it wasn’t until I entered my relationship with Georgia that I saw the truth: there was still so much buried within me.

She reflected back the areas I hadn’t touched yet. How I was still selfish in some ways. How my fear of intimacy and vulnerability, shaped by heartbreak in my early teens, still had a hold on me. How past experiences I thought I’d moved on from still lingered, affecting my choices and habits.

That’s when I decided to try talk therapy. I’ve only done four sessions so far, and I won’t sugarcoat it—it’s been tough. There’s something about sitting with someone who holds a mirror to your emotions, forcing you to face them, that is both terrifying and transformative.

I’ve sweat through sessions, felt waves of discomfort, and even cried—a release I didn’t realize I needed. Each session is peeling back layers of my past, helping me confront the things I’ve buried deep.

As men, we’re often taught that expressing emotions is a sign of weakness. That vulnerability makes us less. But I’m learning that the opposite is true. Keeping things bottled up only limits us—blocks us from living fully, from being honest with ourselves and the people we love.

There comes a pivotal moment in life where we can choose to prioritise our healing or stay stuck in past. One of the biggest lessons I’ve taken from therapy is this: you can’t outrun your past. No matter how much you distract yourself, it will find ways to show up—sometimes in the smallest, most unexpected moments. The only way forward is through.


I’ve read “the regrets of the dying” and so many people wish they had let go, allowed themselves to be happier and lived a life full of potential and love. Even if you feel resistance to letting go and think it’s not worth it, what would your future dying self want you to do?

If you’ve been feeling stuck or unsure about where to start, I encourage you to consider therapy. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

Also keep in mind that you might not find “your” therapist right away. I had to go through three different ones till I found mine.

Here’s to letting go, showing up, and living fully.

Much love